Finally! Nothing makes me happier than being able to write a positive, upbeat update. …Okay, I may be slightly exaggerating – but it is definitely up towards the top of my list of things that make me happy.
Yesterday I was in Cocoa Village with my family. It felt great to get out of the house and relax. It was the first time in quite a while where I was not worrying about anything, just living in the moment.
After dinner we walked back to the car so we could finish shopping for Fathers Day. Once I put on my seatbelt I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone. C. called. That means I missed his call again. It had only been two minutes since he had last called so I hurried to call him back. There was no answer. Thankfully his phone didn’t go straight to voicemail. I assumed he had called his mom and waited patiently in hopes that he would return my call.
It broke my heart knowing that I had missed 2/2 of C’s calls. I was positive that he was upset, scared and lonely in his new environment. I was sure that he was having a terrible time adjusting to his new life. All I wanted was him to be able to have one normal conversation, one pep talk to remind him that the next two months are nothing but a mind game. The MTI’s are paid to break you down. I knew he was aware of all of these things, but the maternal genes in me needed to remind him and make sure he was okay, to make sure he was still sane. I know people graduate BMT every weekend, but it still pains me to know that C. is all alone living a life that is completely new to to him.
My phone rang. My heart dropped to my feet, mirroring the feeling in my stomach of the moment we shoot out of the beginning of The Hulk roller coaster. I nervously glanced at the screen.
Normally I call him “Dummy,” but I was not sure if he had an MTI over his shoulder. I wondered what to say, I had not spoke to him since he left nearly two weeks ago. I hurried to answer before he hung up again. The first thing that came out of my mouth was “You’re alive!” C. laughed and said, “yeah, dummy – of course I’m alive. It’s going well.” Once he referred to me as “Dummy” I instantly felt at ease. He was still my C. I was so worried that he wouldn’t be able to be himself, or he would be too scared to speak to me. As always, he managed to surprise me. He sounded so happy. He said that his MTI was actually one of the nicer ones available. He loved the fact that he got to work out all the time and he said the food is really good. He said that they spent a lot of time doing tedious chores, mainly cleaning. His personal task is “bed aligner” which is ironic because he is always the one that makes the bed here. My bed has actually been a disaster since he has been gone. It was so great to hear from him. He actually sounds like he is having a really good time. The joy in his voice was heartwarming.
It is so nice to not worry anymore. I have always known that he is in good hands, but I was hesitant about him adapting to such a new environment.
46 days to go!