Category Archives: In the news

Baby Steps to a Lasting, Loving Relationship.

Via Yahoo. Click here for the original article.

By Ted Kewin and Denise Jaden, author of Never Enough

In the beginning, relationships are really quite simple, aren’t they? You like someone, you go on a date, you date some more, and eventually you decide to commit. At this point you and your mate have a common goal: to make it work. You’re both excited about your future together.

Skip ahead 50 years and look at the couples who finish each other’s sentences and help each other through little everyday tasks like getting up from a chair or making dinner. Anyone on the outside can see that they add to one another’s lives. They’re living a simple and happy life together. So what happens in the middle? Why do relationships have to get so complicated?

Here are some keys we’ve found to help make things simple again.

Tune in. When you’re dating, you think you’re listening, but are you really? Or are you just stuck in your way of thinking while your mate is stuck in his or hers? Make it a habit to repeat back what you think the other person has just said to you. You’ll be surprised the amount of times that you’re wrong! Eventually you can learn to understand each other better, and, yes, even finish each other’s sentences!

Win-win. A lot of people use the word “compromise,” but should you always feel like you’re sacrificing? In a relationship, rather than looking for reasons why you should get your own way, try to look for ways that you can also make it a winning situation for your mate. If your focus is wrong, your relationship can easily become a self-serving factory, rather than a safe place where you can both grow as people. Here’s a tool you can try using to find the win-win in your situation: Have your mate rate from 1-10 the importance of the thing that they want, and then you do the same. Rather than telling your mate why he or she doesn’t need what they want, talk through why what you want is important to you, and how you might make it less important.

Mine for gold. Give your mate the benefit of the doubt. Remember that there was once something that attracted you to this person. They can’t be all bad! Think of a time when you were in the simple stage, when you saw the good in this person’s heart. Focus on this instead of the faults you might see before you.

We’re different. Remember that men and women often don’t think the same. A woman wants to be everything to her man. She wants to be the person that fulfills him and makes him feel alive. The thing is, a man will feel alive often only by his own ambitions and conquering. It’s nothing personal toward his mate if he’s unfulfilled, but perhaps she can help him find what he’s lacking.

Keep a united front. Never argue publicly, or even in front of close friends. Keep your fights to yourselves. Remember that others will only remember the fight and the faults that they see. They likely won’t be around when you work things out, and may have trouble forgiving either you or your mate. Also included in this point: Curb the urge to correct your mate in public. The people you’re with may not notice, but your mate will. One simple correction could negate all the work you’ve been putting in to making your mate feel safe with you.

Do the right thing. Say you’re sorry when you’re wrong. Do you have a problem admitting when you’re wrong? When was the last time you admitted it? Realize that if it’s been a while, this may beyour problem and not your mate’s. Everyone is at fault sometime, and humility, from both parties, is essential to keep a relationship strong.

Let go. Isolate the problem you’re dealing with and don’t bring up past arguments or faults. Let go of past offenses. Having more ammo is not the point of a relationship. Getting along and supporting one another is.

Right or happy? Do you think people who have been married 50 years just naturally agree on everything? They don’t. Many of them have just learned to stop sweating the small stuff. They can allow their mate to be right in areas they may not agree with, because they’ve realized it’s not worth worrying about.

Invest. Book a weekly date night. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive, but try to make it a time that encourages having fun together and getting to know one another better. Yearly retreats to learn relational skills are also a great idea. Relationships don’t have to be complicated, and it doesn’t have to take you 50 years to make yours better. Wouldn’t you like to be the only couple at the table who is still on their first marriage? Or the couple people look at and wonder, “Why is their relationship so easy?”

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Military Wives Strip Down to Raise Awareness of PTSD

courtesy battlingbare.org

Via Yahoo >>>

Ashley Wise’s husband Rob is about as tough as they come. The career soldier spent 8 years in the Marines before joining the Army after 9/11 and serving on two tours of duty in Iraq, but in April this year, he hit a wall. He locked himself in a hotel room with guns and alcohol and told his wife “he might do something stupid.”

Thankfully, he came back home alive. Ashley reached out to the Family Advocacy Service at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, where they are currently stationed, and discovered that, like many other soldiers who are suffering from mental anguish or who might have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), finding the help he needed without putting his career in jeopardy would be a struggle. When Wise, believing her conversation to be confidential, divulged to a counselor that Rob had once become physical with her, an MP was immediately brought in. Husband and wife were not allowed contact for 72-hours and Rob now faces domestic assault charges (which Wise is trying to have dropped).

Related: Participation Encouraged in Study of Military Families

“The last thing a soldier needs is to be separated from his wife,” Wise tells Yahoo! Shine. “Guys kill themselves because they think they are such a burden to their families.” Wise says soldiers avoid telling anyone they are feeling depressed, angry, or even suicidal for fear of being dishonorably discharged. “Take the number of men who actually report having PTSD and multiply that by 50.”

That evening, Wise told a girlfriend, “I want to streak across the 101st command building, because then maybe the general or someone would listen to what I’m saying.” Instead she grabbed an eyeliner pencil and had her friend write these words on her back:

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“Broken by battle,

Wounded by war,

I love you forever,

To you this I swore:

I will quiet your silent screams,

Help heal your shattered soul

Until once again, my love, you are whole.”

Wise posted a picture of her naked back onFacebook, invited other military wives to share images of themselves, and the organization Battling Bare was born. “Our initial intent was to take Facebook by storm,” says Wise. She says, at heart, she simply wanted families to be able to enjoy normal things together like “eating at Chuck E. Cheese’s or going to the fireworks.” When she spoke to other women and “realized how big the problem is, we knew we had to do something.”

Now, just two months later, Wise is working with seven other military wives to launch a non-profit organization to raise awareness about PTSD and the impact it has on spouses and children. In three years, they aim to have a chapter in every state in place to support military families and hold workshops based on a model developed by Operation Restored Warrior.

While some people are critical of their bold approach–she says she’s had some ugly feedback and got a call from a stranger who called her “an attention grabbing whore”–the military isn’t asking them to take their website or Facebook page down. Wise tells Shine that Battling Bare is “on the Pentagon’s radar,” and when she spoke to Colonel William Gayler, Fort Campbell’s Chief of Staff, he assured her, “I want to fix this.”

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“Americas Got Talent” Contestant Timothy Poe: More Evidence of Military Lies?

Via Yahoo>>>
The evidence that “America’s Got Talent” contestant Timothy Poe failed to tell the truth about his military service continues to mount.
As TMZ reports, a photo of a soldier shown during Poe’s audition is not Poe at all, but rather a different soldier altogether (see image below).

Staff Sgt. Norman Bone — the man who’s actually pictured in the photo — contacted the website to set the record straight. And he’s not happy about the case of mistaken identity.
“First thing that came to my mind was ‘Why would this lying son of a bitch do this?'” Bone, who serves in El Paso, Texas, told TMZ. “I’m absolutely furious. Been seeing red all day.”

The photo has been posted on the Department of Defense’s website, bearing the caption, “U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Norman Bone directs movement as his patrol turns around on a narrow path in the mountains of Parwan province in Afghanistan on Oct. 25, 2006.”

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(SFC. Dexter D. Clouden/U.S. Dept. of Defense)
The caption goes on to identify Bone as “a patrol leader for the 561st Military Police Company, Fort Campbell, Ky., attached to 10th Mountain Division.”
A spokesman for FremantleMedia, “America’s Got Talent’s” production company, apologized for the error in a statement provided to TheWrap, noting that the photo “was supplied to us by Tim and used on the show in good faith. It has now been removed and will not be used again.”
The latest revelation adds further fuel to speculation that Poe is embellishing his military record.
During his audition, Poe claimed that he sustained brain damage that left him with a speech impediment from a grenade blast while serving. However, a spokesman for the Minnesota National Guard refuted Poe’s claim, saying that, while Poe did serve his country overseas, there is no record of the injury he described on the show.
“His military records indicate that he served with the Minnesota National Guard in Kosovo from Oct. 10, 2007 until July 15, 2008, and was deployed to Afghanistan from July 28, 2009 to Aug. 30, 2009,” Minnesota National Guard spokesman Lt. Col. Kevin Olson said in a statement. “Sgt. Poe’s official military records do not indicate that he was injured by a grenade in combat while serving in Afghanistan in 2009, as he reports. The Minnesota National Guard can also confirm that he was not awarded the Purple Heart Medal for wounds sustained in combat.”

Poe has maintained that his story is true.

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Tim McGraw to give 25 Homes to Members of the Military

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Tim McGraw will be saluting veterans in a big way while on tour this summer.

The country music superstar is giving away 25 mortgage-free houses — one for each stop on his upcoming “Brothers of the Sun” tour with Kenny Chesney — to wounded or needy service members.

McGraw will kick off the campaign with a Memorial Day concert for military members at New York City’s Beacon Theatre during Fleet Week.

“My sister’s a veteran, my uncle’s a veteran, my grandfather was a veteran, one of my best friends is a veteran,” McGraw said in an interview. “I’ve known people my whole life who are in service to America. And I think in my position to be able to do something like that is probably the ultimate thing. So to be able to go on tour and provide sort of a stable foundation for a veteran and their family is something I really look forward to.”

Fans can watch a live stream of the show on YouTube and it also will be available to military bases around the world via The Pentagon Channel website.

McGraw is partnering with the charity Operation Homefront and Chase on the program, dubbed HomeFront, with contributions from the Academy of Country Music’s ACM Lifting Lives program and The Premier Group on behalf of the North Carolina Furniture Manufacturers.

The “Brothers of the Sun” tour kicks off June 2 in Tampa, Fla., and runs into August with stops in many of the nation’s largest cities. It’s expected to be one of the biggest tours of the summer and in a historic run for the genre.

McGraw says he’ll debut new music on the tour in preparation for his first album on Big Machine Records. McGraw inked the deal earlier this month, finally ending a long and profitable, but difficult relationship that ended up in court.

That deal was the first in what McGraw hopes is a series of positive developments, and he wants to share those good times with those he’ll be giving houses to this summer.

“It’s going to be a great opportunity to set a family on track that’s done so much for us and my family,” McGraw said. “So I can’t imagine a better thing to do on tour. It’s going to be fun — I mean every tour date we’re going to be out there.”

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